I'm having a busy year, to say the least. It's called "doing a PGCE". I haven't had time to go through my bank statement with a calculator.

Nevertheless, I should probably have noticed that I haven't received any student loan so far, since September. I should have £1952.78 by now.

My bursary's been coming in, I haven't been overdrawn, so I haven't worried about it. But now my bank statements all say "minus", so I checked it out, and found the student loans company is waiting for my university to confirm my attendance.

I don't know which one to feel more exasperated at. And to add insult to injury, I can't rip Marjon to shreds on the National Student Survey, because it's only for undergraduates.

Tags: money, pgce

I just logged in and my statue user pic had been changed! It was a flash thingy, Harry Potter and the Snakes on a Plane. Raaaaaandom...it was mildly amusing, which might lead me to believe it was a friendly prank by someone I know, but the subtitle it gave Samuel L. Jackson had bad language, as you'd guess, so I deleted it.

I've been leaving my laptop around the classroom, but I really can't imagine any of the teachers doing that. And the children are six. Only about two or three of them could read enough to know what to click. Unless one of the older ones snuck in...but surely changing my facebok picture is more conventional? Aaaaagh, what else has been done to my laptop???

At least it doesn't appear to have left a goofy post pretending to be me. If I commented on your journal in the last few days, it might not have been me.

Nope, don't believe in it. If I did, then clearly in my past life I was the woman whose face they modelled the Sphinx on, the sixth Spartan back at the battle of Thermopylae, the man who shot William Rufus in the New Forest, and the inventor of sliced bread.

Except I wasn't, because I don't believe in it. Dayum, I don't want to come back here once I'm done! What if you were a survivor of the black death after all your family was wiped out, a slave, a victim of ethnic cleansing, abused by your family your whole life, horribly disabled in a time before painkillers. And you had to keep coming back!!!

I'm quite surprised by how many people said they do believe in it, actually. That's interesting. Seems to me that if reincarnation is true, then it's not working. Atrocities still happen, age to age - humans aren't getting any better. That's why I believe in a Saivour, because any supreme being with their eyes open could see this world needs one. And I want to stick with him when I die, I don't particularly want to come back here.

Tags: belief, death, writer's block
Current Mood: frivolous

I've come to a realisation.

I think I like the naughty kids best. Fair enough, at the two schools I've worked at, we haven't got any with really severe behaviour problems, and the ones with problems aren't in my classes. But I've got a few who can be trouble if they want to.
  And I like them. I think it's because they show more character than the quiet ones. Obviously the quiet girls have personality of their own, but if they don't talk to me I can't get to know and like them so much, can I? I quite admire the kids with a rebellious streak, because I never really had one. At least these guys know what they stand for. I love the guilty expression when I bust them doing something they shouldn't be, it's so funny.
  And if I overhear them described as "Not a nice boy at all" or "He's horrible" or "She's the most spiteful child", I can't help but feel a bit sorry for them. Obviously teachers can't force themselves to like every single individual they meet, but dammit, I'm going to give it my best when it comes to kids in my class, because if they can tell I don't even like them - why should they do any work for me?

I always thought I'd relate better to kids that reminded me of myself - quiet, smart, loves anything creative. And I do, but the cheeky ones are just a bit easier to get to know. And they're not bad kids.

I must never, ever let any of them see when their antics amuse me, however. That's the kiss of death to my career.

Tags: naughty, teaching

Ugh. Moaning.

If I ruled the world, repeated unessecary moaning would result in punishment by the scold's bridle. Only for a day or so. But honestly, I'm fine over here, what are you trying to do, spread the doom around and share the load? Trying to pass it on like flu? You think being a miserable whiner is a witch's curse you can get rid of by passing it on within seven days?

No thanks. Not interested. And also, when unessecarily moaning about people you don't know very well, don't forget there's someone else sitting in the room who might know them a bit better. Man, I hate that, sitting there feeling really awkward, not saying anything. Wondering if you should say something...but they haven't seriously insulted anyone, and also it's partly true. But it's still MOANING, and not just giving people the benefit of the doubt, and minding your own business when it doesn't affect you anyway.


Aw crap, I've just realised this whole post is kind of a moan at moaning. Aw, I fail...

*dons Scold's Bridle*

lLLLLffhhhmmphh lllshm ghm.

Tags: rant

I didn't get much teaching done today. What five or six year old is paying attention to maths when it's snowing? Actual snow that settled, and you could pick up and throw at your mate! Not a light feathering that melts the second it comes within a metre of anything, or a weak hail mixed with rain, a proper dump of snow!

After lunch, a lot of them were taken home, until we had barely a quarter of the whole school. I thought parents were over-reacting slightly, until we tried to get home ourselves. The school's down a tiny little lane that goes down and up hill. They'd gritted the main road through the village, but not the back roads where most of the kids live. One of the TAs had to call her husband to come in and fetch her on his tractor, because the car wasn't going to make it.
  I got a lift home with one of the teachers, and we set off up this gentle slope. I was admiring the snow on thatched roofs, how it had caught on the buttresses of the little church, and up ahead the road was just trees and a track of white - it looked like Narnia.

The car didn't want to go to Narnia. Perhaps it knew it wasn't welcome there. The wheels spun, the engine yowled, but we weren't going anywhere. Except backwards, a bit. Gareth put the handbrake on.
  And we were still going backwards.
  Guess we're reversing then...

We fetched an enormous bag of grit and salt, scattered it over the slope, and decided to try for it again. And we made it, just! I wasn't really worried throughout this, the snow looked so deceptively pure and delicate. And I could've walked up to the main road and got a lift back from there - Gareth's car would've been a bit stranded though. 

So we might get a day off school tomorrow! I mentioned this to the children, one of them said: "Yessss! Ha haaa!" In a mocking, victorious tone. As if I'd be there in the classroom like "Curses! I have no children to give horrible work to today, they have escaped my clutches!!!" Rather than wrapped in a blanket on my sofa drinking hot chocolate and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, pretending I'm fourteen again.

Tags: snow, teaching
Current Mood: hopeful

EVE, from Wall-E.

"Rise of the Robots" was the term topic for my first teaching practice, and I was looking for examples of female robots, to keep the girls interested. Do a search on Google. If a robot is a girl, its usually for the purpose of her female genitalia. Without trying to sound militantly feminist - all robots are assumed male unless they're obviously needed to be female. Was I showing those pictures to my seven and eight year olds? No I was not.

But EVE, on the other hand, is brlliant. She's not obviously female - it's her voice, the music that accompanies her, and her smooth shape that give her away. She's graceful, she has an important function, and when she's annoyed she has a lot of firepower :)

When I got them all to describe their favourite robot, all the girls did either the robot dog toy or Wall-E. Except for one that did Bender from Futurama. I also got Daleks, Mars rovers, transformers...personally, C3PO will always hold an important spot in my heart, and I respect False Maria from the 1939 silent film Metropolis as the Grandmother of all robots. Optimus Prime, Robbie, and the Replicants from Blade Runner. All good. But EVE's my favourite.

Tags: movies, sci fi, teaching, writer's block

I'm at home - they cancelled afternoon lectures again, due to staff illness. Marjon doesn't do cover lecturers. At the moment, I feel like I've almost got more time off than actually learning. I'd say "it's gone beyond a joke", but it was beyond a joke the time before last. It's past beyond a joke. It would be fine - time to work on our assignments. But they cancelled the lecture about Assignment 2, so we don't know what we're supposed to be doing.

Fortunately, I was able to get a lift home from Hannah. I'm really enjoying the rides to and from Plymouth actually, the car share group is really entertaining. There's singing, games, and weekend stories about police, gas chambers, cat impersonations and casualty. Everyone on the course is really lovely.
  It's going to be crap, running into them at interviews, competing for the same job. I have to get an application pack for one today that I know Hannah's going for. I don't think I'll mind if she gets an interview and I don't, or even if she gets the job and I don't. She's slightly older and more experienced than me, more outgoing and more organised when it comes to lectures.
  Aaargh. Maybe I should have done secondary school teaching. There's no lack of jobs there, because teachers keep getting laid off with stress and running away to become plumbers...no, of course I shouldnt have done secondary. Sheesh.

Tags: jobs, pgce
Current Mood: uncomfortable

Six boxes of fairtrade, organic Earl Grey tea arrived at my house. That's 300 teabags in all.

:) I'm good for a little while.



It's impossibly cold. I know there are colder parts of the world, but nobody really lives there except polar bears and Sarah Palin. It's too cold for human life here, forget any further north.
  So I spent all of tuesday outside in the country.

We were supposed to be learning about how to run science field trips. But we basically just did all the activities the children would do. Whch was fun, but didn't teach us anything about leadership, outdoor learning for small groups, risk assessments, what to do if a child falls through the icy pond...this is a trend on the course. It's quite fun, but I only really learn stuff on placements, by trial and error actually teaching.
  So anyway. I was wearing two pairs of trousers with tights underneath, heck knows how many layers on top, and the thickest gloves, scarf and hat in the world. I was generally okay, but the tips of my fingers, toes and nose went numb. Some people had basically just a coat. I'm relieved they're still alive. The lads too.
Ice: *CRUNCH-crackkkk!!!*
James: "Aaaagh!!...Um, that was a controlled risk-assessment. We can now safely say the ice isn't thick enough to hold human weight. Carry on."
  There were many more "controlled risk assessments". Some weren't very controlled. 
  Yeah, it was mainly a laugh because my group is really awesome. It was a bit useless really. "In the summer, we'd find all sorts of things while pond dipping! But, um...you can't really do that now...not many schools come in January..." Soooo...why are we here?
  Pond dipping was actually ice fishing. Mini-beast hunting was surprisingly successful though. We found what may have been a stag beetle grub, which are pretty rare down here and the ranger got kind of excited. Shame it was half squished, slimy and dead, but still, something laid its egg there, so that's still quite promising.



Today we had a careers fair. I joined two unions, got a free bag, 2 free pens, 1 free pencil and a free ruler, 2 free diaries, and several free planners and sweets. It was okay, I guess, except one lecture theatre had this magical portal to Siberia. Either that, or some *expletive deleted* turned on the bloody air conditioning when it was already in minus degrees outside. But come on! It must've been a portal to Siberia, because who'd be that stupid???

The last lecture was from the National Union of Teachers (The NUT man), and clearly, there was nothing else to be said. I swear, he told me nothing I hadn't heard already except one thing. Which I can't even remember. I got so bored I started writing letters. Once I'd exhausted my friends, I wrote some haikus, I wrote to a fictional character I made up, to Julius Caesar, and to God. That's how productive that session was.
  No, really. "Make sure you use good spelling in your application letters, because if you don't, that reflects badly on you." WE'RE TRAINING TO BE TEACHERS!!! Do you think we'd have got this far if we didn't know that? "The one thing you must never do is use physical force on a child." Oh gosh, really??? Because I've been caning them left right and centre, thank goodness you told me that, it's not like I could've gained enough experience to even join the course if I thought hitting kids was alright...seriously, if he thinks that's a revelation he should be telling to PGCE students, maybe we shouldn't let this man near schools. Even if I was a creep who had slipped under the radar, is his one sentence going to make me change my mind? "Oh gosh, you mean I could get into trouble for that??? Oh no, I'd better change my ways!" Give me that hour of my life back. NOW.

*Opens the tea* That's better.

Tags: beautiful places, creative writing, nature, pgce, stupidity, stupidly cold, tea, teaching
Current Mood: chipper

I am a miserable person to live with when I’m writing an essay. It just takes me so long, and I get rather melodramatic and very uncharitable. Other things have also been conspiring to make me gloomy this week. But y’know what?

I REFUSE. 

( Problem One )

 

( Problem Two )

 

( Problem Three )

 

( Problem Four )SO, I’m not gonna let any of this stand in my way. Because I’ve just finished an essay, and I think it was fairly good. I’ve only got four weeks before I’m on placement again, and I’m going to force myself to enjoy them. This is my last chance to be a student! I refuse to not enjoy myself!!!

Tags: cars, crossline, essay, food, money, pgce, trains
Current Mood: Resolute